QUICKIE: A villain, a maiden, the hero ... and then ... gasp! ... alcohol!
PLOT: The widow Wilson (Margaret Hamilton) and her daughter Mary (Anita Louise) have just learned that old Mr. Middleton, who held the mortgage on their home, has passed away. They are now visited by Middleton's lawyer, Cribbs (Alan Mowbray), who informs them that Middleton's son and heir Edward (Richard Cromwell) plans to foreclose and take possession of their home. When Mary goes to plead with Edward, she soon discovers that it is really the unscrupulous Cribbs who wants to drive them out of their home. When Mary and Edward become engaged to be married, it looks as if all is well. But the calculating Cribbs has a new plan, which begins with luring young Edward into a lifestyle of drinking and dissipation. Buster Keaton plays William Dalton, the friend to Edward who turns him around in the end.
SUMMARY:
Villain: "You must pay the rent!"
Maiden: "I can't pay the rent!"
Hero: "I'll pay the rent!"
Maiden: "My hero!"
Villain: "Curses! Foiled again."
The rest of the story:
Maiden & Hero marry.
Maiden: "Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine."
Villain: "Here, Mr. Hero, have a drink."
Hero drinks for 20 years straight.
Maiden: "Oh, my poor husband."
Watch this movie and laugh. Hiss at the villain, clap for the hero. Make some popcorn to throw at the screen. It's a silly melodramatic romp of ridiculous over-acting and predictable plots. Twice they stop the movie to post notes to the theater customers. Shakespeare is vomiting. We're laughing at the camp. Great fun for all... except Bill. wink.
The Villian Still Pursued Her ~ 1940 -BW
Baby Face Morgan ~ 1942 -BW
QUICKIE: Golly gee willikers guys! What do you mean I'm the head gangster?!?!
PLOT: A young man's father, who lives in the big city, dies and his business associates bring his son to the city to take over his father's business. What the young man doesn't know is that his father was one of the city's biggest racket bosses and that he's being placed in charge of the gang's profitable shakedown operations, disguised as an insurance agency.
SUMMARY: Well, this has quite a few PDMRB rules going in it:
#1. Suspension of reality makes the story work and the movie enjoyable.
#2. Crime doesn't pay.
#14. The bad guys always get busted .
#18. Jump to conclusions and suspect the worst from others.
#19. Misunderstandings make for a funny, heart-warming story.
And of course the rule supreme of the happy ending when all misunderstandings are cleared up and the bad guys are busted, and the couple gets married. Awww.
This movie is just silly. An innocent kid is assumed to be a crook just because he's the mob boss' son. So without knowing anything about the kid, the whole lot put him in charge. He treats it as a legitamate business and does quite well paying the insurance claims business owners are making because the mob is blowing up their trucks. The office is a hoot as the secretary and her boyfriend are breading rabbits to make her a fur coat. Misunderstandings abound and in the end the truth comes to light and "Baby Face" has to make a stand in the room of gangsters. Cute and always the happy ending.
The Wrong Road ~ 1937 -BW
QUICKIE: Instead of getting a job, a couple of spoiled brats steal $100,000, do jail time then spend the rest of the movie trying to recover the hidden loot while evading various people who are trying to get the money from them.
PLOT: (from IMDB) A young married couple whose plans for their life together haven't turned out as expected decide to rob the bank where the husband works of $100,000, then hide the money in a safe place and return for it after they serve out their sentences. All goes according to plan until they get out of prison, when they find that they're being trailed by an insurance investigator and the husband's old cellmate, who has decided that he wants a cut of the money.
SUMMARY: Seriously, what kind of morality are they pushing when a couple of college kids think it's better to steal money than to work hard? More than once they say they "earned" the money by serving their time in jail. What? If that kind of convoluted logic was true, then jails would be bulging at the seams.
There's some awesome dialogue like: "Every salesman is a pinhead." (pointing to map). And the usual sexist crap. The insurance investegator plays dirty trying to get Betty to reveal where the money is stashed by playing to her vanity:
Roberts: Have you taken a good look in the mirror lately?
Betty: Why, yes. Why?
Roberts: That money's doin' things to ya. It's beginin to show in your faces. (lightly touches around Betty's eyes) Little hard lines that weren't there before. Bitternesses. Go on, take a good look.
Betty: Why you'd be surprised what a few facials would do.
Roberts: If you were to spend all of that money on facials. It wouldn't clean you up inside. That's the idea, it's doing things to you.
Anyway, this movie embodies everything I love about these old movies. The story is a huge departure from reality. The kids have this stupid innocence that even becoming a crook and serving 2 years in the penitentiary can't destroy. The investigator tailing them cuts them breaks because he "believes in their underlying goodness". Totaly hokey. There's always tough thugs, a shoot out, a car chase, an elderly couple who live to feed strangers, and the always happy, sappy ending. In fact, the dialogue at the end of this movie had me laughing so hard I could hardly wait to type it up here:
Betty: Why even if we get away we'll be hunted. We'll never know a moment of real peace. We'll always be on the run. Aw Jimmy, I don't wanna be on the run, I wanna stand still. I wanna marry you and stop running. Aw Jimmy let's stand still. Let's go back and give the money to Roberts and laugh again.
Jimmy: (nods head)
(the couple laugh with glee and embrace)
Roberts: well here I am and you kids can start laughing right now. (To Betty) better than a facial huh?
Betty: (laughs)
Jimmy: Here's the money Mr. Roberts
Roberts: Thanks Jimmy
Jimmy: Don't thank me I've never been so glad to get rid of anything in my life.
Roberts: I'm glad to get the money back of course, but that's not why I thanked you. You see, I've always believed in you kids from the very start and you lived up to my belief. That's why I said thanks.
Betty: Thank you for believing in us.
Jimmy: You know the reason we took that money is because we didn't believe in ourselves. But no more, we're all thru with short cuts, they're too tough.
Betty: From now on we'll earn our happiness
Jimmy: Together?
Betty: Always.
music
awwwww. I loled.
